bigtimeposter @bigtimeposter@everything.happens.horse

Oh no I won a public surplus auction for 23 lockers and now I actually have to pick up 23 lockers

I thought this girl I knew was really bad at hiding she was well off….turns out she was REALLY GOOD

commune living is like, sometimes someone stuffs the kitchen sink and turns on the faucet all night and you all have to clean up the water together at 8A but at least it’s a bonding exercise?

My brother refuses to be around our dad because of his drinking, but his solution is…to ask my sister and I to hang out with him at a bar. Mind boggling! Pick a park to hang out at! Or literally anything else!

It’s also frustrating bc my sister literally works on a bone marrow transplant floor, so she really can’t afford to hang out in indoor unmasked public spaces.

I was so worried about bringing COVID to my family...but apparently my mom and aunt went to a wedding right before I came and now my aunt is positive! live laugh love

Lol the simultaneously way too detailed and way too vague proposal the master tenant sent to the pissed off neighbors didn’t go over well, sounds like they’re probably gonna sue! I literally don’t care anymore. I have never hosted any sort of event that used speakers, this is not my problem!!

squatter roommate getting rare “weed allergy” syndrome and having to go to the hospital (he is fine now!) was not on the bingo card And Yet

one of my roommates tried heating an electric kettle on the stove and now I am Huffing Plastic

lmao not me getting sued by ilana glazer of broad city for being noisy on the weekends 😭😭😭

LMAOOOO the neighbors are threatening to sue because of the weekend noise. im not liable or likely to be named so this is 100% hilarious

my roommate’s stoner boyfriend who is living rent-free with us and giving randos tattoos in our living room is apparently worried that we don’t like him. easy remediation steps? stop doing all of the above lol

I feel really sad to be back to work, I’m finding it hard to be productive. I wish we had an office. I feel so lonely and directionless sometimes when I’m just working by myself in my room.

lol glad that my job as a reporter primed me for getting screamed at for asking basic questions

Lmfao some of the other jurors came out as anti-vaxx….I’m trapped in a windowless room for 8 hrs a day...kill me

wild af to go to court mere hours after apocalyptic flooding to sit in a windowless room and indict people on the word of cops

someone pointed out that the Gideon the ninth author was actually also my favorite fanfic writer as a teen and now im like OH…..that makes so much sense

my roommate’s moronic stoner bf wants to sublet a room….they’ve only been dating for 2 weeks…he needs new housing in the first place bc he cheated on his live in gf with her...this is crazy!!

the thing that breaks my brain is how little information and time we’re given to make huge awful decisions about people’s lives. I have a tension headache from how stressful this is lmao

I finished harrow the ninth and I need the next one NOW

being trapped in court means I have to google shit like “grubstreet hot girl milk” at the end of each work day just to understand twitter