in my mind the only potential buyers for my landlord's building were basically sentient hedge funds because who has 4.3 million dollars but I just remembered movie stars live in my neighborhood and honestly if I get forced out of my home by Margot Robbie or something during a strike that would at least be fucking hilarious
Ranking movie stars by probability they'll kick me out of my apartment when they buy out the building
Pretty sure Ebon Moss-Bachrach already owns his place in Brooklyn Heights but if he were in the market I bet he'd be charmed by our setup enough to let us stay
Ilana Glazer would be fake-nice at the open house but 100% kick us to the curb
@ingrid listen gwyneth paltrow needs a room for her swords (citation needed, my memory is hazy on this)
ScarJo and Colin Jost would kick us out without even looking us in the eye, absolutely