Among my favorite NYC bullshit summer meal moves is to get a five dollar green juice from a bodega and pair it with a slice of dollar pizza

Just overhead a woman at a subsurface infrastructure conference say to someone on the phone "well, she's an extrovert and an Aries, that's why" I guess that is the vibe for today

The animal rescue inexplicably named her Kitty and honestly we can't think of something better so for now we're going with it

What do you mean it's weird to still tear up every time I listen to "65th and Ingleside" because Chance's heart is so pure

Wait so for real DJ Khaled just yells his name in every song and that's the whole thing

I regret to inform you that I have further succumbed to performance athleisure and I kind of love it

Don't mind me just tearing up on the sidewalk watching some kids doing a gun control walkout from school in my neighborhood

Caterpillar making a smartphone is a shameless play for techie hipsters who wear Carhartt and have never worked construction a day in their life and I...do not care

Me: use devices as long as you can and don't just buy new tech because it's cool, it's bad for the environment

Also me: uhhh Caterpillar makes a PHONE and it has VOC SENSORS?? OMG

Should I re-watch the John Wick movies to make sure I'm caught up for John Wick 3/totally not looking for an excuse to watch John Wick

Forgot to do this on the federated socials: my friend Brendan and I are writing a speculative fiction newsletter for the next six weeks, you can read the first chapter here: vice.com/en_us/article/43jagj/ and the sign up for the newsletter is at trainingcommission.com! It's very over the top and pulpy and weird, we are having a lot of fun with it.

I just realized that this restaurant is playing a song from "A Star Is Born" but I only had heard it covered by Lizzo so my expectations were...not met by the original

I keep cackling at the fact Jake Gyllenhaal is in the new Spider Man movie because as far as I'm concerned he and Tobey Maguire and Topher Grace are basically just variant evolutions of the same Pokémon but I'm not sure if I'm the only person who finds this funny

Once again I am the master of being told to apply for jobs and then pushing all my friends to apply for the jobs instead so I can pretend my avoidance of any vulnerability associated with rejection is born out of altruism and not cowardice

"I had a major breakthrough in therapy today about my subtweeting" may be the lamest thing I've ever said but it is regrettably very true

slowly accepting that most of my friends are no longer into the dad rock of The Mountain Goats (what do I do with this extra ticket for next week LOL)

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