more mental health problems 

starting to think of suicidal ideation as a kind of autoimmune disorder that I'll at best only ever be able to mitigate or manage, this sucks


more mental health problems 

this is probably why I get so aggro at the "there's no time for despair" scolds—motherfucker I'd love to not despair!! but I apparently cannot turn off this part of my brain that wants to fixate on getting enough painkillers to never wake up and the shame I feel about that only fuels the despair more

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more mental health problems 

@ingrid despair seems like a valid response to bad situations, there's a time and place (like, say, funerals and wakes are social despair institutions.)

What I can't abide is shame. Never seen a use for it besides creating maladaptive responses and destructive spirals in people.

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Horsin' Around

This is a hometown instance run by Sam and Ingrid, for some friends.