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starting to think of suicidal ideation as a kind of autoimmune disorder that I'll at best only ever be able to mitigate or manage, this sucks
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Current coping strategy: if I don't get out of bed I can't take steps to kill myself so it's ok if I can't get out of bed
Mental health improvements
Staying in bed worked, I'm feeling a lot better
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@ingrid despair seems like a valid response to bad situations, there's a time and place (like, say, funerals and wakes are social despair institutions.)
What I can't abide is shame. Never seen a use for it besides creating maladaptive responses and destructive spirals in people.
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@ingrid if it works for you I'm for it, I'm glad you're here and I hope things get better for you ❤️🩹
unsolicited offering strategy for the worst moments
@ingrid up there with another one I've used "I don't have to kill myself today, I could do it tomorrow." which got me through a few bad years.
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@ingrid ♥️
Mental health improvements
@ingrid l am glad that worked for you :)
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@ingrid i hear you. 🖤 🖤 🖤
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this is probably why I get so aggro at the "there's no time for despair" scolds—motherfucker I'd love to not despair!! but I apparently cannot turn off this part of my brain that wants to fixate on getting enough painkillers to never wake up and the shame I feel about that only fuels the despair more