if you recall like six library books, and the same person has all of them, i think you should be able to meet in person so you can either get married or fight to the death
@oddletters The Name of the Rose (1980)
@oddletters What if it turns out they're already your spouse?
@cstross @oddletters what if it turns out it's *you*?
@cstross co authorship opportunity!
@cstross @oddletters The marriage option is then no longer possible. Which leaves you with the only remaining choice -- fight to the death.
@rst @oddletters In which case your names are Mr and Mrs Smith and your neighbours' insurance broker just died of fright.
@rst @oddletters Now hear me out, this is my elevator pitch:
MR AND MRS SMITH, ONLY THEY'RE LIBRARIANS
@oddletters We got married! And it was more like 60 books.
@oddletters Are those supposed to be opposite choices?
@oddletters “married” and “fight to the death” may not be mutually exclusive. Bon chance!
@oddletters or both...
@oddletters split the difference by making out so hard you accidentally suffocate each other <3
@oddletters Whisper of the Heart (1995)