more mental health problems
Current coping strategy: if I don't get out of bed I can't take steps to kill myself so it's ok if I can't get out of bed
more mental health problems
this is probably why I get so aggro at the "there's no time for despair" scolds—motherfucker I'd love to not despair!! but I apparently cannot turn off this part of my brain that wants to fixate on getting enough painkillers to never wake up and the shame I feel about that only fuels the despair more
it's not even a matter of "am I good at stuff" or "am I qualified for jobs"; it's mainly the legibility to employers side of it that dooms me I think. no one actually believes I want to work in a newsroom or that I could possibly do that after years of freelancing! no one actually wants to pay me a livable wage for my labor! and I don't know how to change myself to fix this!
We've made a new algorithmically generated one-of-a-kind puzzle. The Bismuth Crystal Puzzle. Every one is uniquely grown, with a different shape, image, and cut.
I hate that I have to specify this but no AI involved. Just geometry, color, and craft.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzWihiaJwud/?igshid=MWdwM2RtNWJocWZ0ag== need the A24 adaptation of this
https://buttondown.email/perfectsentences/archive/perfect-sentences-46/ this week in sentences: controversy, no one's neck, tendrils in this microscope, bird damage, quite a crowd, unwelcome, plants that marry secretly
DAFilms + Taiwan International Documentary Festival are running a collaborative free week-long online screening of eight documentaries from Taiwan's Green Team (1986-1990) guerrilla media collective, which captured massive social movements + government violence throughout their active period. The one about successfully fighting off DuPont is next on my list.
Incredible footage, exactly zero of which I'd seen before.
https://dafilms.com/program/1442-what-s-the-colour-for-documentary-green-team-from-taiwan-1986-1990
I also co-authored a piece with Ngakiya Camara about today's shutdown of Boeing, near St. Charles, Missouri, carried out by Dissenters and other groups acting in solidarity with Palestine. https://truthout.org/articles/palestine-solidarity-activists-block-boeings-doors-to-stop-delivery-of-bombs/