Ingrid Burrington @ingrid@everything.happens.horse

https://buttondown.email/perfectsentences/archive/perfect-sentences-47/ this week in sentences: the dead future, the size of poetry, pouncing, espejos, twelve years old, probability of storm

Countdown to Altman starting an Ethical AI think tank with a ten-month fellowship program

Staying in bed worked, I'm feeling a lot better

Current coping strategy: if I don't get out of bed I can't take steps to kill myself so it's ok if I can't get out of bed

this is probably why I get so aggro at the "there's no time for despair" scolds—motherfucker I'd love to not despair!! but I apparently cannot turn off this part of my brain that wants to fixate on getting enough painkillers to never wake up and the shame I feel about that only fuels the despair more

starting to think of suicidal ideation as a kind of autoimmune disorder that I'll at best only ever be able to mitigate or manage, this sucks

Ever been so depressed the panhandler stops midway through the ask to check if you're okay because you just look so sad

submitted an article for academic journal peer review for the very first time and it was absolutely on hard mode (it's an IEEE journal and their citation format is utterly deranged), please clap

when it's spelled "werk" it is supposed to be said with an Irish accent

wonder how the team that works on Google Forms feels about it becoming a foundational tool of lefty coalition building via people needing a simple mechanism for getting people to join open letters

it's not even a matter of "am I good at stuff" or "am I qualified for jobs"; it's mainly the legibility to employers side of it that dooms me I think. no one actually believes I want to work in a newsroom or that I could possibly do that after years of freelancing! no one actually wants to pay me a livable wage for my labor! and I don't know how to change myself to fix this!

my horoscope said I should try to think about my career goals today so now I'm just depressed because I don't think they're remotely attainable, lol

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzWihiaJwud/?igshid=MWdwM2RtNWJocWZ0ag== need the A24 adaptation of this

https://buttondown.email/perfectsentences/archive/perfect-sentences-46/ this week in sentences: controversy, no one's neck, tendrils in this microscope, bird damage, quite a crowd, unwelcome, plants that marry secretly

I hope they cast Andy Serkis as The Emerald Mine in the Elon movie

In a conversation about how great ChatGPT is and debating smashing the coffee table to eat broken glass just to change the subject

Might fuck around and try to start a reading group for Conflict is Not Abuse this winter

Trying and failing to convince my brain and body that it does not in fact need to be in survival mode anymore